Pillars

My Grandma.

A woman of such perseverance, of such tenacity, a woman of moral integrity. From the magic tomato patch and sitting on hills while staring at the moon - to the making of chocolate cakes and pizzas from scratch. From the feeding of tortoises and cleaning of koi ponds, we have had many moments together. The pruning of roses, and sweet peas, the harvesting of iris bulbs, the cultivation of my soul. I will always have a plate in her presence, and when the day comes when I can’t go visit know she’ll continue to pray over my life regardless. I love you, Grandma Linda, thank you for your constant grace.

Forty-two years, six months, and twenty seven days are the amount of time my Grandfather worked as a conductor for the railroad. A lifelong struggle to gain a comfortable life, I ask myself if I have that kind of dedication, that drive, as I navigate through this short little life. The man that taught me how to shoot, some of my most fond memories are when we would drive to the trap and skeet range. On those early mornings, we would load up the truck with our 20 gauge shotguns and head out, his cup holder always had an old polar styrofoam cup full of what seemed to be the coldest ice tea. I remember how proud he was of me the first time we went to shoot sporting clays. My Grandfather was and still very much is a headstrong man, a man that can talk to the wrong number for an hour, and a man of immense creativity.

My Mother.

The most beautiful woman in the world - my mother. A woman that truly has given something so incomprehensible, life. She has given me so much more throughout our twenty years together, she’s given me love - my mother has suffered a magnitude throughout her life, so much pain and heartache that would break so many others, but she has presided throughout it all. I admire her strength so much, she has always encouraged mine making it grow more and more each year. My mother is completely and utterly her, never compromising her self-worth for anyone or anything, she is truly herself. She has dealt with much criticism from those who are too fragile to embrace their true selves, out of jealousy she has been mocked and ridiculed but to what end - only for her to continue to chase her dreams. I love the craziness my mother invokes, so full of passion and deep emotions - I am one and the same. I remember when we struggled together, such a painful time in our lives, I was so damaged as a child from it - I was just a child, and I still am. I’ve always been so scared, so delicate as if I would shatter if the breeze blew against me - my mother knows this and she’s tried her best to protect me. My mother has always prayed for my heart and soul to find peace - you know the older I get the more I realize I’m finding it within the chaos.